Children and school

picking blueberries this summer, a favorite activity...

The new kids at school, not a favorite activity...

My three children have invisiable heart strings that connect them to me whereever they go. Most of the time, they feel it, and are confident to go about their day, with little worry about the connection they have with me. However, right now, my children all have their strings tied to their wrists like helium balloons from a birthday party; it is tied on, but they are constantly worried it will float away. Let me explain...

My darling children and I have all been in Montessori school for two weeks. Coming from Waldorf, I knew there would be some adjusting to do by all. However, I was totally not prepaired for my middle childs reaction. He crys every morning. He says he misses mommy, he misses his old school, his old friends, and that nothing about his new school is good.

My youngest cries too, which I was preapaired for, since this is his first expericene of school. And my oldest feels sad to see the other two cry, and has become more clingy.

I work at the new school. I have chosen not to homeschool, but insted to work and hopefully give my children a solid begining to their educational life. I am near them all day, get to see them during the day, as we pass in the hall, wave through windows, and blow kisses on the playground. However, I am working, comforting, rocking, other children. As I watch my own chilidren cry, I am holding another persons toddler who I am comforting. I love to comfort other children, to tell them; it is ok, you are safe here, I love you, mommy and daddy love you, and they will be back...

However, I feel guilty not being with my own kids as they go through this change and I am consumed with other peoples children. You can say, it is just an adjustment, they are fine, it is good for them...and I KNOW all of that. But, does that make it easier, or less of a guilt trip? NO NO NO!!! All I want to do is stay home with my kids and bake cookies. Which explains my recent string of blogs about cookies...

I feel I am helplessly watching my children grow up. I want to savor every moment of them being young, little, tiny. I want take in who they are now. I love this time of little ones in the house. Maybe that is because it is 5 in the morning, and they are still sleeping, but still...

In battle of the cookies

Wade used the Joy of cooking recipe I have used a dozen times found here. I decided to do a shortbread cookie with a cream cheese frosting. I have been wanting to try this cookie ever since I read about it in Homemade Life here. I love her book and her web site too. The recipe calls for 4 sticks of butter total. Three in the cookie, and one in the frosting. Also, there is a whole package (8 oz.) or cream cheese in the frosting! To me, these cookies are almost perfect. I love savory shortbreads, and cream cheese frosting is my favorite. How could I go wrong?

Then, Wade busted out the perfect chocolate chip cookie. For some reason, when I followed the same recipe, my cookies came out puffy and good, but not great. Wades came out gooey in the middle, and crunchy on the outside. They were perfect. I cant figure out the difference. Maybe it is attitude. Maybe I have to be more of a shark in the kitchen.

The kids voted. Can you guess? Who can beat the perfect Chocolate chip cookie? Not miss shortbread over here. Forget it. Wade won. Two kids chose his over mine, one said it was a tie. Thanks Elias, but I know you just dont like cookies and dont want to break your mamas heart so you said it was a tie...

On another note, lookie what I brought in from the garden! a cantaloupe!

Then I made a yummy gazpacho with tons of fresh herbs, tomatoes, zucchini, and garlic. I put some in jars to save, and will eat the rest all week for lunch. I love summer!

(Atticus took this picture for me)

Chocolate Chip Cookies Recipe With Picture - Joyofbaking.com

Marathon Cookies Recipe - 101 Cookbooks

I did not think this morning when I woke up that I would be challenged to a competition.  I hate competitions. Especially against my husband. He will kill to win.  We had to stop playing checkers years ago because of how aggressive he would get while we were playing.  there is no fun in the game for him.  It is all about winning.  I like to play to pass time, to laugh, to be a good sport. He is out for blood.

In an effort to expand enjoyment, I have started baking a lot of cookies.  My family loves my new found attempts to spread joy, even though I have yet to create the "perfect" cookie.  My husband blames my want to use whole wheat flour and unrefined sweeteners.   I blame the overly-fluffy batter I am getting from the traditional recipes.  I prefer a flat, non fluffy cookie.  One with some crunch.  So today, when I announced I was making peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, wade announced he too would be making some cookies.  A bake-off you could say.  The kids would be the judge.  That last part will be my doom.  Kids like sugar, white flour, frosting...I would love a cookie like the one from 101 cookbooks (check out the link here).  That, however, would not make me the winner.  And the winner is what I want to be.  I don't want to be left alone holding my tray of healthy cookies while the kids crowd around Wade devouring his sweet, crispy cookies. 

So, do I throw out honey for sugar and whole wheat for white in an effort to win? Is winning more important than what is really nourishing?  And, my third and not final question is; what are the criteria the kids will rate these cookies on...can health play a role in the points accrued? Or should cookies be bad for you? Is a healthy cookie an oxymoron? Should I focus on health in the main meal, and let cookies be bad bad bad? Oh the dilemmas this challenge brought up for me! 

Marathon Cookies Recipe - 101 Cookbooks