Children and school

picking blueberries this summer, a favorite activity...

The new kids at school, not a favorite activity...

My three children have invisiable heart strings that connect them to me whereever they go. Most of the time, they feel it, and are confident to go about their day, with little worry about the connection they have with me. However, right now, my children all have their strings tied to their wrists like helium balloons from a birthday party; it is tied on, but they are constantly worried it will float away. Let me explain...

My darling children and I have all been in Montessori school for two weeks. Coming from Waldorf, I knew there would be some adjusting to do by all. However, I was totally not prepaired for my middle childs reaction. He crys every morning. He says he misses mommy, he misses his old school, his old friends, and that nothing about his new school is good.

My youngest cries too, which I was preapaired for, since this is his first expericene of school. And my oldest feels sad to see the other two cry, and has become more clingy.

I work at the new school. I have chosen not to homeschool, but insted to work and hopefully give my children a solid begining to their educational life. I am near them all day, get to see them during the day, as we pass in the hall, wave through windows, and blow kisses on the playground. However, I am working, comforting, rocking, other children. As I watch my own chilidren cry, I am holding another persons toddler who I am comforting. I love to comfort other children, to tell them; it is ok, you are safe here, I love you, mommy and daddy love you, and they will be back...

However, I feel guilty not being with my own kids as they go through this change and I am consumed with other peoples children. You can say, it is just an adjustment, they are fine, it is good for them...and I KNOW all of that. But, does that make it easier, or less of a guilt trip? NO NO NO!!! All I want to do is stay home with my kids and bake cookies. Which explains my recent string of blogs about cookies...

I feel I am helplessly watching my children grow up. I want to savor every moment of them being young, little, tiny. I want take in who they are now. I love this time of little ones in the house. Maybe that is because it is 5 in the morning, and they are still sleeping, but still...